Breastfeeding A to Z

Asking For Help

Seek help with daily household jobs.  How many people have said to you–“Let me know if there is anything I can do”?  People often offer to help, but aren’t specific.  Ask!

If the first person you ask isn’t available, ask someone else.

Ask for what you need:  Someone to watch the baby for an hour so you can rest or sleep or take a shower.  Ask someone to prepare a meal for your family, or to get your groceries or do one load of laundry.  Maybe you were lucky enough to have someone bring meals to you, or set up a meal train for you.  If not, you can set up a meal train for yourself by going to their website   It is a great way to receive help with meals for new parents or anyone with illness or other circumstances when the need comes up.

You may need to let go of the idea of a house that is picked up before anyone can see it.  Yes, it is ok to let someone see it when it isn’t perfect so they can come and help you.  Most of the time friends and neighbors are happy to help, but we are reluctant to ask them.

Remember this is not a permanent situation.  Anytime you are learning something new (how to live and care for a new baby or the next new baby) things take more time and we need help.  Please don’t suffer because you are afraid to ask for what you need.

Again, if you ask and it isn’t convenient for that person that time, ask someone else.  It is an effort to ask, but not as much as trying to do everything yourself.

Think of it as the pay-it-forward plan.  If you are accustomed to taking care of most of your needs, realize there will be a time when someone might need you to help them and you’ll be in a position to do it.

Not only ask for help, but make things simpler for yourself.  If things used to get cleaned or done on a certain schedule, maybe that isn’t practical for now.  Often we have to lower our standards a bit.  The house can be less picked up, meals can be simpler.  Cereal and milk can be a complete meal!  Do just one load of laundry, instead of doing the whole pile.  This is not something that will last forever, you just need to do this for a little while.  You may even find some of the changes you don’t mind making permanent!